Kelsey Grimm is known by most, as a singer/artist alongside her husband Caleb, in their duo Caleb + Kelsey. She is mama to their two precious boys, Emmett age 3 and Beckett, age 1. Kelsey considers herself a stay-at-home mom as the majority of her time is spent raising her babies and making the house a home in their hometown of Nashville. She is also fervent about marriage and the quest for true intimacy with the person you’re doing life closest with. It’s hard and messy but 100% worth fighting for. Kelsey and her husband Caleb have planted roots at a church home in Nashville that has provided a place for them to heal, serve, and grow deeper in their ever changing and evolving relationships with Jesus.

1. 1. In Over It, you are extremely vulnerable by sharing your story for the world to see. Have you always been able to be vulnerable, or was it something you learned later in life?

   3. Most people who know me would probably say I’m an open book—I think part of it is that my personality type lends itself naturally to being more vulnerable than the average person on any given day.  I tend to be an open book about most things in life but I will definitely say that up until I wrote this book, I’ve never been quite this vulnerable about such personal things and struggles I’ve been through.  The world doesn’t know most of my story and I’ve finally reached a place where I’ve found enough courage to share it, in hopes that it might help the girl coming behind me. What I’ve found to be true the older I get, is that the more open, raw and honest I am with my story, life and realities—the more it inspires others to share things important and close to them too.  Secrets lose their power when we get them into the open.

 

1. I think everyone reading this book can relate to feeling the burden of overwhelming expectations placed on us either by ourselves or others-was there a defining moment that gave you permission to shatter those expectations?

I can’t think of a defining moment in my life where I suddenly realized that I could lean into who I already am and not who others have needed to me to be, but I’ll say that becoming a mama has made me keenly aware of how I want to raise my children and the kind of confidence I want them to have in themselves.  I want them to know they are free to be who they are, to chase their dreams, to shatter the ceilings that culture puts on them and to know that they are already loved—no matter what they do, or who they become in life. But I realize it has to start with me—I have to set that kind of example for them.  This book and my vulnerability in it, is me stepping into the wide open, not hiding in shame or crumbling under the weight of what people need to be.  It’s me owning who I am, my mess and all. It’s me being brave enough to show them my humanity. It’s not weak, it’s real.

1. It was neat to read about your faith journey, and how it has both inadvertently placed unrealistic expectations on you, while at the same time allowing you to be free from expectations. What was the most helpful resource to you when undergoing your faith journey?

 

I think it’s important to find a circle of people, even if it’s a small one—that you trust implicitly. People that give you the space to grow into yourself free of judgment or condemnation.  For me, having close friends and family that spoke life into me, encouraged me to ask questions and gave me safe ground to figure out what I believed to be true for me was what changed the game.  Surround yourself with people who champion you in every season of life.

 

1. Many people find themselves stuck in unhealthy relationships. What piece of advice would you give to those struggling, and what red flags would you advise to look out for?

 

My biggest piece of advice as it pertains to relationships is to ask yourself one question: Does this person make me feel worthy to be loved?  If the answer is no, you need to really take a step back and re-evaluate that relationship.  If the person you’re in a relationship with makes you feel small, undervalues your opinions, dreams and thoughts—you deserve more.  Period.  If the person you’re in a relationship with pushes you to become someone you’re not, pushes you to do something you’re not comfortable with—GET OUT.  You are worthy of so much more than that.  You’re already loved so deeply by the One who created you—find someone who reminds you of that.

 

1. Many moms will be able to relate to unattainable expectations society can place on them. How were you able to accept that everything isn’t going to be “perfect”?

 

This is still a daily struggle for me if I’m being honest.  Being a mom is the greatest privilege I’ve ever known in this life and I prioritize it over almost everything else.  However, it has shattered my expectations of what I thought motherhood would look like.  It’s untamed, unorganized, humbling and messy in every way.  Parenting has forced me to slow down and evaluate what’s most important in life—where I’m investing my time and energy.  But it’s so hard not to have things go the way you hope sometimes.  Kids are kids.  They’re messy and imperfect just like us.  They’re unpredictable, wild and free spirits just finding their way in the world and the truth is they’re teaching me everyday to slow down, keep a curious outlook on life, not take things too seriously and play—even as adults.  Don’t be afraid to get your hands dirty.  Don’t be afraid to wear the bathing suit.  Don’t be afraid to dance.  Sometimes you have to let go of what you thought something would look like to embrace the beauty found in the mess of imperfection.

 

1. What was the process of writing this book like, and did you approach it differently than how you approach your music projects?

 

The book writing process was so much longer and more grueling than I could’ve imagined. What I didn’t prepare myself for, was how difficult it would be reliving my past in order to capture it on paper and share my story. It’s always painful to go back in time and relive nightmares of your life that have shaped you and this book writing process was definitely that for me.  It was painful.  It was healing.  It was slow.  But so worth it. Our music process is usually so quick and we’re able to turn songs around in a week or two, so this process being as arduous and long as it was—was definitely a challenge.  I can’t believe we’re finally at the point in the process where it’s done and about to come out for the world to read.  It’s a terrifyingly exciting place to

be.

 

1. Is there a specific chapter that you enjoyed writing most?

 

The chapter I wrote about becoming a mom and everything that came with stepping into that role was one of my favorites to write.  It’s so raw and honest and I feel like every mom who will read it will be able to relate to the overnight upside down that happens after you give birth.  Motherhood is so much trial and error and just leaning into the inevitable chaos and plan disruptions everyday.  I had a lot of fun talking about some of what I’ve learned so far in my journey of motherhood and what it’s continually teaching me.

 

1. What inspired you to write this book? Were there unexpected challenges when trying to write?

 

At the end of the day, I felt it was time to tell my story because unfortunately—too many other women (and men) out there—can relate to the unrealistic expectations of the world that ultimately can drive us to dangerous places and people.  When we let someone else dictate our worth, we place our value in what they tell us to be and when we eventually fail to be all those things—we lose.  We lose ourselves and I almost did.  I found my way into a sexually abusive relationship because I slowly caved to the expectations another man had of me.  I nearly drove off a bridge late one night in Nashville because I finally reached rock bottom trying to be who everyone else needed me to be and I couldn’t do it anymore.  It drove me to the brink of death.  I wanted out.  I wanted to be free. I wanted who I already was to be enough.  And sadly, so many other women have a similar story.  So in sharing mine, I hope it inspires other women to let go of the things they think they need to do and be and know they’re already enough.  I want to remind the girl coming after me to know she’s worthy of love and being loved so she doesn’t find herself in an abusive relationship.  I want to remind women of their inherent worth and protect them from the downward spiral I went through trying exhaustively to be something I wasn’t.

1. Do you have any fun projects in the works? Where can people keep up with you?

 

Caleb and I always have new music coming out—specifically songs that we’re putting out that enforce the messages in my book. We pump out songs every month (sometimes more) so there’s always new stuff happening that we’re so excited to share.  There’s also some secret things in the works we’re ironing out so stay tuned as always.